That’s crappy ass parenting, right there. I’m gonna climb up on my soapbox and yell about this topic for a minute, because the kids situation is an even bigger issue to me than the sexuality thing.
First off, your feelings are always valid. You feel it, it’s valid. That’s how it works. You don’t need anyone else’s approval to feel how you feel. You feel you’re ace? You are. You don’t want kids? Good for you. No one gets to tell you otherwise.
Second, you will NEVER hear this kind of treatment for the opposite views. Oh, hey Mom, I think I’m straight? Oh, that’s nice dear. Oh, hey Mom, I think I want to have kids one day? Awesome, glad to hear it. Fuck that. Not everyone is straight, and not everyone wants kids. People need to stop acting like that’s all there is to life.
Cause guess what? Everyone wants different things! Some people want relationships, some don’t. Some people want to go to college, some don’t. Some people want to be engineers, some don’t. Some people want to be parents, some don’t. Some people want to go skydiving, some don’t. Why should any of those decisions be condemned for not being the other?
Having kids is not like having an object, or even like having a puppy. Having a biological child involves 9 months of pregnancy for someone, many hours of labor (which, by the way, is the single most painful thing human beings go through without dying), then 18 years, give or take, of that child being completely financially dependent on you, not to mention the emotional toll of parenting. Yeah, there’s rewards, I guess, but for some people, those rewards pale in comparison to the costs.
Some people want other things in life - a career, travelling the world, not to be broke and tired all the time, the ability to do whatever you want without having to worry about some kid - all of those are perfectly valid.
Kids are a huge fucking commitment and parenting is not for everyone. So screw that attitude. You don’t have to have kids ever, and you may not ever change your mind about kids. Your mother can go step on a lego for saying that shit to you.
It’s okay not to come out to her, knowing that that’s how she feels. But I wanted you to know that your feelings are valid, to have some ideas of how to combat that idea should you want to, and I wanted to put this defense out there because this makes me so angry.